How can I make friends as an adult?

Friendships increase life satisfaction and reduce the likelihood of chronic diseases and heart diseases. Moreover, friendships can be formed at any age, and even minimal social interactions can be powerful in leading a satisfying lifestyle.

Friendships can act as buffers to mental health issues, stress response, and reduced brain activity for functions involving motivation, reward, and identity. Loneliness or social isolation increases risk for disease, anxiety, depression, and many other conditions. However, even weak connections can be sustaining; interactions that are ‘weak’ (e.g., acquaintances at work, a grocery store employee who remembers you from the week before) may still act as a form of social support, which ultimately improves wellbeing.

Though in this digital age, it is tempting to engage only online. However, connecting in person is greatly beneficial, and often it is shown that social media use correlates with greater depression and anxiety.

Try simple things, such as being more specific when someone asks about your life. Take a genuine interest in the details of what others are doing and experiencing. If people are sharing the same spaces as you, it often means you already have something in common.

For example, if you are sitting in a coffee shop, gym class, church group, or college class with someone, you could say something simple like:

• “Have you been coming here long?”

• “How’s your week been going so far?”

• “What do you usually order here?”

  
  

Taking a genuine interest in others often looks less like trying to impress them and more like listening carefully and asking follow-up questions. If someone tells you they recently started a new job, instead of quickly changing the subject, you might ask:

• “What’s been the biggest adjustment so far?”

• “What do you enjoy most about it?”

• “What made you want to go into that field?”

  
  

Likewise, being more specific when someone asks about your life helps conversations feel more personal and meaningful. Instead of saying, “I’ve been good” or “Work’s been busy,” you could say:

• “I’ve actually been trying to get back into reading lately.”

• “Work has been busy, but I finally finished a project I was stressed about.”

• “I’ve been spending more time outside and trying to meet new people.”

  
  

Small details invite deeper conversation and give others something meaningful to connect with. Use that as an opportunity to start a conversation, build a connection, and engage with others in person today.