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Romanticizing Relationships (Limerence)

Limerence is the involuntary obsession with another person. It is a multifaceted experience characterized by obsessive thinking, anxious desire, and irrational evaluation of the person's attributes. This focus often stems from a perceived reciprocation of feelings. The mental obsession revolves around the hope that the object of your romanticization (limerence) feels the same way towards you. By understanding the nature of romanticization (limerence) and implementing effective strategies, you can combat the fantasy associated with it. Acknowledging the unrealistic nature of these feelings is the first step towards overcoming them. Seeking professional help or engaging in self-reflection can also aid in managing and eventually overcoming romanticizing relationships.


Here are ten strategies to combat romanticizing relationships:


1.      Acknowledge and Accept:

Recognize that what you're experiencing is romanticization, not love. Understand that it's a temporary and often irrational state.


2.       Limit Contact:

Minimize interactions with the person you're fixated on. This can help reduce the reinforcement of romanticized feelings.


3.      Focus on Yourself:

Redirect your energy towards self-improvement and self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.


4.       Seek Support:

Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. A supportive network can provide perspective and help you work through your emotions.


5.      Challenge Idealization:

Remind yourself of the person's flaws and imperfections. Try to see them more realistically rather than through an idealized lens.


6.       Set Boundaries:

Establish clear boundaries with the person you're fixated on. This might involve limiting communication or avoiding situations where infatuation feelings tend to intensify.


7.      Explore Distractions:

Keep yourself occupied with hobbies, interests, and new experiences. Distracting yourself from thoughts of the person can help break the cycle of infatuation or romanticization.


8.      Practice Mindfulness:

Learn mindfulness techniques to stay grounded in the present moment and manage intrusive thoughts.


9.      Consider Professional Help:

If romanticizing relationships significantly impact your daily functioning or mental well-being, consider seeking therapy. A therapist can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation.


10.     Give Yourself Time:

Overcoming the cycle of romanticization is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time and space needed to heal.


Remember that everyone's journey is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's crucial to find strategies that resonate with you and to be compassionate with yourself throughout the process.

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